School didn't teach us how to work with our feelings. We didn't get any classes on working through feelings of lack, emptiness, worthlessness and sadness. We weren't instructed about how to let our emotions thrive. And because we weren't taught any of these things, many of us suffer from forms of depression that can weigh us down for weeks and months.
If you notice depression symptoms, you will naturally react by trying to get rid of or avoid them. We don't want to feel bad about ourselves, or empty, or heavy and meaninglessness. So we do what comes naturally, we try to suppress and resist these types of feelings.
For the reason that we have never developed and learned basic emotional intelligence, the manner in which we try to avoid or resist negative feelings does not work. There are really only three basic means we all use to try to resist our bad feelings:
We all will either Change the Channel, which means to clean the kitchen, garden, go dancing, go to a show. Or we may Act Out. This is throwing things, screaming, trying to make people around us as upset as we might feel. And finally, we may try to resist our bad emotions by anesthetizing. This is to eat too much, or drink too much, anything to numbe the feelings.
If you are feeling bad about yourself and you eat enough donuts and cake, you go into a sugar coma where you basically dont feel anything. Anesthetizing works, but only for a short time and it obviously can damage our health.
Projecting or Acting Out also works for a short time. When we kick the dog or throw a lamp or snap at a coworker, we feel better, it seems like the emotion is out there instead of inside us. But again, such projection works only for a little while, it doesnt actually resolve the issue, and it tends to damage our relationships.
A healthier way to deal with negative feelings is to Change the Channel. Each one of us must learn to manage our mood swings, or we can end up overwrought and overstressed. So if we feel bad and go to a movie or go for a run, we lift our mood without doing any damage. Changing the channel on negative emotions is a good thing to learn how to do more efficiently.
Nonetheless, changing the channel often won't resolve the underlying negative emotion. If we were feeling sad about a situation and go for a run, we will get a lift. However, when the run is done, often the sad feeling will begin to return. This is the basic issue with all 3 ways of dealing with difficult emotions. They are often only temporary fixes. We feel better for a while, but it doesn't last.
There are some other approaches to working with difficult feelings that can provide more long lasting relief - and some help for depression as well. One method is to explore how a difficult emotion feels in your body for five minutes before you change the channel. It's simple to do once you learn how, and five minutes a day of exploring rather than resisting bad feelings can help us begin to feel better overall.
If you notice depression symptoms, you will naturally react by trying to get rid of or avoid them. We don't want to feel bad about ourselves, or empty, or heavy and meaninglessness. So we do what comes naturally, we try to suppress and resist these types of feelings.
For the reason that we have never developed and learned basic emotional intelligence, the manner in which we try to avoid or resist negative feelings does not work. There are really only three basic means we all use to try to resist our bad feelings:
We all will either Change the Channel, which means to clean the kitchen, garden, go dancing, go to a show. Or we may Act Out. This is throwing things, screaming, trying to make people around us as upset as we might feel. And finally, we may try to resist our bad emotions by anesthetizing. This is to eat too much, or drink too much, anything to numbe the feelings.
If you are feeling bad about yourself and you eat enough donuts and cake, you go into a sugar coma where you basically dont feel anything. Anesthetizing works, but only for a short time and it obviously can damage our health.
Projecting or Acting Out also works for a short time. When we kick the dog or throw a lamp or snap at a coworker, we feel better, it seems like the emotion is out there instead of inside us. But again, such projection works only for a little while, it doesnt actually resolve the issue, and it tends to damage our relationships.
A healthier way to deal with negative feelings is to Change the Channel. Each one of us must learn to manage our mood swings, or we can end up overwrought and overstressed. So if we feel bad and go to a movie or go for a run, we lift our mood without doing any damage. Changing the channel on negative emotions is a good thing to learn how to do more efficiently.
Nonetheless, changing the channel often won't resolve the underlying negative emotion. If we were feeling sad about a situation and go for a run, we will get a lift. However, when the run is done, often the sad feeling will begin to return. This is the basic issue with all 3 ways of dealing with difficult emotions. They are often only temporary fixes. We feel better for a while, but it doesn't last.
There are some other approaches to working with difficult feelings that can provide more long lasting relief - and some help for depression as well. One method is to explore how a difficult emotion feels in your body for five minutes before you change the channel. It's simple to do once you learn how, and five minutes a day of exploring rather than resisting bad feelings can help us begin to feel better overall.
About the Author:
You can learn more ways to get natural depression help in the book about Depression Help Without Drugs. John Stephan Laney teaches emotional skillsand you can learn more at Natural Depression Help. Many types of depression can be healed without drugs or pyschotherapy.
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